It's been a really busy week at work and with my days off preparing and celebrating Thanksgiving, and black Friday starting on the actual Thanksgiving, it's no wonder I had the dream I had last night. When I went to bed, I began to dream of work, which I always do, but then it started changing and I dreamt of doing readings. Most of the dream was vague and random until I was standing in a room and I felt a presence. I kept saying it was a man with dark hair and wearing green. I must have said it like three times. I didn't like the feel of the entity, negative, but not in a lost soul way. It was hiding and I don't really deal with spirits that try to hide The others in the room looked a little skeptical until the cat started hissing and growling. I immediately banished it, and it left and the dream became vague again.
It's been awhile since I've had a spirit dream. I don't really know what he wanted, I just know it wasn't to be crossed over. The feeling I have now feels like a an entity that was passing through. I'm been thinking alot lately, especially on a more sub-conscious level about needing to start practicing again. I feel so out of the touch with the psychic world. I know it's my job. I took a four day weekend a few months ago and after day three, I started feeling so grounded and clear. But then I had to work 10 days straight afterwards and it put me back right where I am now. I have been looking for another job, but most of them, I will be taking a pay cut and I can't afford to do that. I can't even afford the job I have now. It's like a never ending cycle.
My dream was the third of three signs that I need a change. The second sign came two days ago when I was cooking. It was nice because the house was so peaceful and calm. The kids were happy, everyone was happy at that moment. I looked out the kitchen and three doves landed in our back yard. Sometimes we get birds that come in looking for food and quickly leave, but this one struck me as odd because they were walking in a row and then stopped and look right at me. They lingered for awhile until my husband opened the back door to feed them some bread, but they took off and that was the last I saw off them.
The first sign was about a week ago and there was a humming bird in the back yard. Now keep in mind, our backyard is all gravel and we have no plants, trees or grass back there. I was sitting in our bedroom with the window open and a hummingbird came right up and looked through the window in front of me. I stayed there for about a minute and then flew off. It was strange, and enough to grab my attention for a short time, but I have a hard time reading birds. It's funny because I am the most connected to them, and I know they come to bring a message, but I don't know what the message if. I try to use the symbols for them on-line but they just don't fit.I'm now hearing the song "The Voice" by the Celtic Women. I know I'm being called to make some changes and I have been asking for direction and guidance but I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I think I'll try to pull a couple of cards now that it is quiet for a moment.
I asked for Angelic assistance and all 4 cards flew out at me.
Ice Queen, it's where I am now, dormant and frozen in the moment.
High Lord of Gratitude and Service- Because of my dormant state I have lost my passion to serve.
Gaia's Graden- this one is easy, it's talking about my job, which is keeping me in my dormant state. I stay because of the money, though the job holds no more joy for me. It weighs on me so heavy, it's blocking me and keeping me in my present state.
Spirit Whisperer- this is who i am, who I desire to be again, more in touch. I hear the call, but to much stress from work, I stay dormant. My soul desires to flourish back into it's natural state, but yet I am frozen in this current state.
The Eagle King- Angelic Help is the thing that stuck out at me. Not just asking but trusting. And since the interpretation of the cards came as quickly as a glance, this is yet another sign to ask for help. The birds are a symbol of the heavens and higher realms. They know what I struggle with and are telling me to ask and to trust, it's the whole free-will thing :)
So this will be my focus for the next couple of days, asking for help and blind faith.
Friday, November 29, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
A Winter's Dream
Even in the visions, I see you. I look at a picture and there you are. It doesn't matter what the picture is or what is painted, you still show yourself to me.
I walk along a lonely path in between the snow covered trees towards a destiny unknown. This familiar path I walk again foreign once again. As the snow continues to lightly fall, I continue to tred forward. Step by step. Though my feet tire, my souls pushes me forward. What is this place I long for yet have never seen, yet seen time and time again? I am always here, yet it's unknown where the path will lead this time.
I cross the frozen river and continue onward when I see you up ahead. You are there, yet I am the only one who can see you. You have died, yet you continue to live that last moment. Next to you she appears shining in all her glory. She has come to take you away, yet you do not leave. Not yet. Instead, you wait. I ask, are you waiting for me? He say's come. I am stuck. I am trapped. I desire to go yet I do not know why. I do not understand what pulls me to the light. I do not understand what makes me stay here in this moment. The woman enchants me and beckons me to follow, but I can't move. I have no answers, just a million questions. I don't understand. Can you help me?
I know no more then you, I respond. It's not something that can be told, it is something that can only be felt. It is mysterious, just as the road ahead of me is. I do not know where it will take me, all I know is that I must follow. I do not know the dangers that lie ahead, nor do I know the treasure. All I know is that this path calls to me and I must follow. It has called to me since I was small. It has been my guide all of these years. It has taken me to so many places. It has pulled me through the veil of many worlds that I would have not otherwise would have known was there. I have experienced life and death all at once. I can't tell you how it feels for there are no words to describe it. I can only show you for it must be seen through the eyes of innocence. It's a voice you hear in the wind. A pulling you feel in the depths of your soul. It's mysterious, it's magical and beyond the unknown, all is known. It's not answers in our mind, you just know that the call is for you. In this place where everything is still, is where you hear the call.
I hold out of my hand. I will show you my world. You already have he says to me. It is in the energy you give. I remember feeling this when I was young. It has guided me. When I stopped believing, it reminded me. But I didn't listen. I stopped believing. I became afraid of it. But what is it? What is it that calls us? It's not important, is it?
The call is important, but why it calls is not.
When we understand why, we often loose the mystery of it and we stop hearing it. We stop believing in it because we start to rationalize it and many times that knowledge leads to only more confusion. I have sought knowledge and have gained knowledge, but I have lost my ability to believe. When I lost my belief, the knowledge no longer meant anything to me because it lost the mystery. When I followed the call, I followed with my soul. I knew nothing other then it was what I was supposed to do and it gave it purpose. It was pure and naive, it was innocent, based on pure trust. It didn't matter not knowing the answers, I knew all I needed to know and I knew that anything else I needed to know, I would learn along the way. That is why I am on this path now. It is a journey I know I must take. A journey without reason or thought. A journey without knowledge but not without purpose. I walk the path of the soul where intuition is my guide. Fate is my map, destiny my compass, a journey of knowing that anything and everything is possible. You have no idea where that woman will take you, but in the deepest part of your soul, you know you must follow. It's not because I tell you that you must go, it's because you already know, you hear the call, you feel the pull and it is stronger then any desire for knowledge you ever had because you already know it's for you. Just as you know that light. Do you trust the call? Can you trust her?
I can see the veil. I can see beyond her, where she is taking me and it's so beautiful. It's for me? Do I deserve it?
It's not about what anyone deserves, but it calls you still, and it is there for you. The question isn't whether or not you deserve it, the question is whether or not you are follow the call.
The longer I look at it, the harder it pulls. I no longer desire it or afraid of it, I yearn for it. Shimmering and so bright. I did nothing to earn it, yet it calls to me still. It draws me in and there is no resisting it. I don't want to resist it. I want it to consume me. I want to walk through it and to be a part of it. I need to go. Everything is falling away, I see nothing other then the light. I must go now. Thank you.
I see the rope fall away from his throat and he walks into the light. The veil closes and he is gone. The woman smiles at me. You have done well, my child ,she says. She is not an angel as I thought, she is a Goddess. Humanity is your gift. You hold the key and open the door through the veils. You understand them because you understand yourself. He has been here a long time. Trapped in a time and place that no longer exsists, though you found him. Are you beginning to understand now how important you are? Each human was blessed with a special gift, including you. It calls to you, do not deny the call, it is your destiny.
I walk along a lonely path in between the snow covered trees towards a destiny unknown. This familiar path I walk again foreign once again. As the snow continues to lightly fall, I continue to tred forward. Step by step. Though my feet tire, my souls pushes me forward. What is this place I long for yet have never seen, yet seen time and time again? I am always here, yet it's unknown where the path will lead this time.
I cross the frozen river and continue onward when I see you up ahead. You are there, yet I am the only one who can see you. You have died, yet you continue to live that last moment. Next to you she appears shining in all her glory. She has come to take you away, yet you do not leave. Not yet. Instead, you wait. I ask, are you waiting for me? He say's come. I am stuck. I am trapped. I desire to go yet I do not know why. I do not understand what pulls me to the light. I do not understand what makes me stay here in this moment. The woman enchants me and beckons me to follow, but I can't move. I have no answers, just a million questions. I don't understand. Can you help me?
I know no more then you, I respond. It's not something that can be told, it is something that can only be felt. It is mysterious, just as the road ahead of me is. I do not know where it will take me, all I know is that I must follow. I do not know the dangers that lie ahead, nor do I know the treasure. All I know is that this path calls to me and I must follow. It has called to me since I was small. It has been my guide all of these years. It has taken me to so many places. It has pulled me through the veil of many worlds that I would have not otherwise would have known was there. I have experienced life and death all at once. I can't tell you how it feels for there are no words to describe it. I can only show you for it must be seen through the eyes of innocence. It's a voice you hear in the wind. A pulling you feel in the depths of your soul. It's mysterious, it's magical and beyond the unknown, all is known. It's not answers in our mind, you just know that the call is for you. In this place where everything is still, is where you hear the call.
I hold out of my hand. I will show you my world. You already have he says to me. It is in the energy you give. I remember feeling this when I was young. It has guided me. When I stopped believing, it reminded me. But I didn't listen. I stopped believing. I became afraid of it. But what is it? What is it that calls us? It's not important, is it?
The call is important, but why it calls is not.
When we understand why, we often loose the mystery of it and we stop hearing it. We stop believing in it because we start to rationalize it and many times that knowledge leads to only more confusion. I have sought knowledge and have gained knowledge, but I have lost my ability to believe. When I lost my belief, the knowledge no longer meant anything to me because it lost the mystery. When I followed the call, I followed with my soul. I knew nothing other then it was what I was supposed to do and it gave it purpose. It was pure and naive, it was innocent, based on pure trust. It didn't matter not knowing the answers, I knew all I needed to know and I knew that anything else I needed to know, I would learn along the way. That is why I am on this path now. It is a journey I know I must take. A journey without reason or thought. A journey without knowledge but not without purpose. I walk the path of the soul where intuition is my guide. Fate is my map, destiny my compass, a journey of knowing that anything and everything is possible. You have no idea where that woman will take you, but in the deepest part of your soul, you know you must follow. It's not because I tell you that you must go, it's because you already know, you hear the call, you feel the pull and it is stronger then any desire for knowledge you ever had because you already know it's for you. Just as you know that light. Do you trust the call? Can you trust her?
I can see the veil. I can see beyond her, where she is taking me and it's so beautiful. It's for me? Do I deserve it?
It's not about what anyone deserves, but it calls you still, and it is there for you. The question isn't whether or not you deserve it, the question is whether or not you are follow the call.
The longer I look at it, the harder it pulls. I no longer desire it or afraid of it, I yearn for it. Shimmering and so bright. I did nothing to earn it, yet it calls to me still. It draws me in and there is no resisting it. I don't want to resist it. I want it to consume me. I want to walk through it and to be a part of it. I need to go. Everything is falling away, I see nothing other then the light. I must go now. Thank you.
I see the rope fall away from his throat and he walks into the light. The veil closes and he is gone. The woman smiles at me. You have done well, my child ,she says. She is not an angel as I thought, she is a Goddess. Humanity is your gift. You hold the key and open the door through the veils. You understand them because you understand yourself. He has been here a long time. Trapped in a time and place that no longer exsists, though you found him. Are you beginning to understand now how important you are? Each human was blessed with a special gift, including you. It calls to you, do not deny the call, it is your destiny.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
psychic children
I'm been trying to finish a meditation for about a week now. I visualize myself walking under the full moon in a snow covered field that borders a dense forest. I can hear the ice crunching under my feet. I can hear the deafening silence that comes with the snow falling and I can feel the wetness on my face. As I walk I reach an ice covered lake and I sit...waiting. As images start to emerge, I get interrupted and I can't seem to finish the meditation. It's normally due to life situations but I can't help to feel that something more is blocking this particular one. Yet I feel the pull to complete it. We have been having some paranormal activity in our backyard over the last couple of weeks. The lastest was this morning when our dog was laying on the bed and out of the blue, turned his head to the backyard and started growling. He was so freaked out that the hair on his back stood straight up. He just kept growling and I could see the fear in his eyes. He's a protective dog so normally he goes right to the source, but today he kept backing away. We went to the window and saw nothing. So my husband goes out into the yard and normally the dog follows to make sure everything is ok, but today he didn't even want to go outside. We got him out there for a second and stayed by the wall and then ran back in. This is totally not him.
It's not uncommon for us to get spiritual activity but this one really scared him. I think it's important to finish this meditation and later to cleanse the backyard so I'm going to try and do it through writing it. I was going to start again and once again I was interrupted. I found myself getting a little irritated until my daughter sat down and started telling me about her psychic abilities. I always knew she was highly psychic but it's very difficult to talk to a child about their abilities because no matter how simple you try to explain it, it's a very complex thing. I taught her a few techniques but never really worked with any of them on it. After today, I realized that she is no longer a child, and neither is my son and they have such amazing gifts to share with the world, it's time. It's time to show them what they can really do. It's time to teach them to control it and not have it control them. I'm finding a new direction to take my own abilities in and it has given me a new motivation on where to channel that energy. These abilities are a gift, not for us, but given to us to share with the rest of the world and it's time to start showing them how to do that. If they don't learn from me, they will learn on their own, and I always wished I had someone when I was young to tell me, to show me.
I have decided to start working on an exercise for them once a week, one's that are more tailor made towards each one's gifts.
I also realized that pushing my own gifts aside, it still doesn't change who I am. It will always come and it will continue to come for my kids. It is who we are, and they will continue to grow in it, with or without me. I want it to be with me. I want to be their teacher, their mentor. I want to be the one who show's them. We need to be the one's who teach them. My daughter's abilities mirror my own with the exception of the weather. She's see's the mystical and magickal everywhere, as I once did. And my son has his dad's healing abilities. The kid is quite amazing. I hurt my arm about 5 years back and he put his hands on me. He did this saw motion thing like he was cutting away the pain, and when he was done, I had no more pain. So yeah, it's time for them to learn to tap into their own power and I am the one who is blessed enough to show them. It makes it easier knowing that all my struggles with my own gifts as a child is what gave me the knowledge I have on it today and will allow me to teach them in ways that noone else can. What a blessing our children are.
It's not uncommon for us to get spiritual activity but this one really scared him. I think it's important to finish this meditation and later to cleanse the backyard so I'm going to try and do it through writing it. I was going to start again and once again I was interrupted. I found myself getting a little irritated until my daughter sat down and started telling me about her psychic abilities. I always knew she was highly psychic but it's very difficult to talk to a child about their abilities because no matter how simple you try to explain it, it's a very complex thing. I taught her a few techniques but never really worked with any of them on it. After today, I realized that she is no longer a child, and neither is my son and they have such amazing gifts to share with the world, it's time. It's time to show them what they can really do. It's time to teach them to control it and not have it control them. I'm finding a new direction to take my own abilities in and it has given me a new motivation on where to channel that energy. These abilities are a gift, not for us, but given to us to share with the rest of the world and it's time to start showing them how to do that. If they don't learn from me, they will learn on their own, and I always wished I had someone when I was young to tell me, to show me.
I have decided to start working on an exercise for them once a week, one's that are more tailor made towards each one's gifts.
I also realized that pushing my own gifts aside, it still doesn't change who I am. It will always come and it will continue to come for my kids. It is who we are, and they will continue to grow in it, with or without me. I want it to be with me. I want to be their teacher, their mentor. I want to be the one who show's them. We need to be the one's who teach them. My daughter's abilities mirror my own with the exception of the weather. She's see's the mystical and magickal everywhere, as I once did. And my son has his dad's healing abilities. The kid is quite amazing. I hurt my arm about 5 years back and he put his hands on me. He did this saw motion thing like he was cutting away the pain, and when he was done, I had no more pain. So yeah, it's time for them to learn to tap into their own power and I am the one who is blessed enough to show them. It makes it easier knowing that all my struggles with my own gifts as a child is what gave me the knowledge I have on it today and will allow me to teach them in ways that noone else can. What a blessing our children are.
Friday, November 1, 2013
6 Month Reading
I was trying to do a reading for the next 12 months. I started the reading yesterday and now the cards have shifted. Something changed, though I am not sure what or why. The only thing that remains the same is the totem animal over the year which is the phoenix, which, ironically we live in as well.
What shifted the reading from yesterday is the hungry ghosts card. Today started the first day of the new year and the energy is completely different then yesterday. Today my husband found out about his job, which he didn't get. The wedding is also stressful, which my mother is actually most of the stress. I've not sure how to handle the situation. I know things are going to shift once again as the turn of the wheel begins to turn into a new cycle. This card is warning of stress and if I don't take control of it now, it will be the theme for the year. The energy will continue to build and consume.
Novemeber - The Eyes of Beauty
This card was thrown at me and it is the card of seeing the beauty of all things. It is a stregnth card reminding me to see the positive and to believe. Belief is something I have struggled with, yet it is the key that will move us into a new cycle, the one we are meant to be in. As things continue to build, I am also reminded to take the time to slow down and enjoy the blessings that we have now. I am to be at peace and to retreat into that inner stillness to regroup and focus my energies on the things we need manifested.
Decemeber- The Lady of the Mirror
I am told that things will continue as planned, even without the extra money we were anticipating. As winter draws near, I am being asked to look within, beyond the here and now, but further in the future. This is where the seeds are sown. I am told not to give up. Energy will continue to build and to decide what to focus that energy on. I am also asked to not hold on to anger. To remind me that superficial things are not worth holding on to . This energy should be used as a time of celebration and I am reminded to use it as such. For any use could harm later on. I am to remember who I am and where I came from. I come from a long line of Mystics, and I need to take the time to remember who I am .
January- The Dream Walker and the Alter priestess
The energy begins to slow as winter is here and all is in hibernation. This is usually a dark time for me and this year will be no different, but I am take stock of the changes that have occurred and will occur later on in the year. Now is the time to plan and sow the seeds for spring. Though most of the energy will be focused on the wedding again, I need to start really preparing for our future. It's time to send the message out to the universe of what we need. This is a great time for magick, for though the energy is still, the imagination is active. I will also be ahead of schedule on something. This feels like a time of magickal connection. A change in career is near. This is a high time for spiritual things and I am called to embrace it.
February- The River Queen
Emotions will be running very high this month. Love is the theme for this month, all love and I will be asked to love even if I don't want to. These feels more in regards to my mother. I need to stay focused on our vision and to allow the energy of love to flow through. Energy starts to build again towards the middle to the end of the month. I need to again harness this energy and direct it into what needs to be done. Water rules this month, and though emotions are high, so is the calmness and healing the river and lakes bring. Towards the end of the month, things become restless, awaiting the arrival of spring.
March- The Shadow Queen/ The prison waif
This month brings with it alot of tension. This is were all the stops are pulled between me and my mother and this is where the truth will be told. I will be tempted to throw everything away. Alot of people will be whispering in my ear, but I need to stick true to what is in my heart, everyone else will file suite when the time comes. Don't loose sight on why you are doing it, remember who it really is for. There will be some conflict about money and possibly a change in careers. Stick with your goals and do not waver. Stay on budget and you will be just fine.
April- keeper of the scales/ the lady of the gift
In the beginning of the month, energy will be buzzing and scattered. Make sure you are grounding yourself often. I was just told that Easter was during that time and sure enough, it is the following day. I just checked. I knew there was something wrong with that date. Maybe this is the reason I couldn't get past the 6th month. I would have been so busy. I don't want Easter the day after. That would take away from it for the kids and cooking two days in a row?? that would really suck. I don't know what I was thinking. I was thinking that I wanted my mother's birthday week to be her own so she wouldn't have to share it with anyone. ok, i need to rethink this whole thing. I think I have a plan. This may change my entire reading as this new info might change everything.Luckily it's a small wedding and I'm good with pressure. He's going to love this idea. I'll keep you posted.
What shifted the reading from yesterday is the hungry ghosts card. Today started the first day of the new year and the energy is completely different then yesterday. Today my husband found out about his job, which he didn't get. The wedding is also stressful, which my mother is actually most of the stress. I've not sure how to handle the situation. I know things are going to shift once again as the turn of the wheel begins to turn into a new cycle. This card is warning of stress and if I don't take control of it now, it will be the theme for the year. The energy will continue to build and consume.
Novemeber - The Eyes of Beauty
This card was thrown at me and it is the card of seeing the beauty of all things. It is a stregnth card reminding me to see the positive and to believe. Belief is something I have struggled with, yet it is the key that will move us into a new cycle, the one we are meant to be in. As things continue to build, I am also reminded to take the time to slow down and enjoy the blessings that we have now. I am to be at peace and to retreat into that inner stillness to regroup and focus my energies on the things we need manifested.
Decemeber- The Lady of the Mirror
I am told that things will continue as planned, even without the extra money we were anticipating. As winter draws near, I am being asked to look within, beyond the here and now, but further in the future. This is where the seeds are sown. I am told not to give up. Energy will continue to build and to decide what to focus that energy on. I am also asked to not hold on to anger. To remind me that superficial things are not worth holding on to . This energy should be used as a time of celebration and I am reminded to use it as such. For any use could harm later on. I am to remember who I am and where I came from. I come from a long line of Mystics, and I need to take the time to remember who I am .
January- The Dream Walker and the Alter priestess
The energy begins to slow as winter is here and all is in hibernation. This is usually a dark time for me and this year will be no different, but I am take stock of the changes that have occurred and will occur later on in the year. Now is the time to plan and sow the seeds for spring. Though most of the energy will be focused on the wedding again, I need to start really preparing for our future. It's time to send the message out to the universe of what we need. This is a great time for magick, for though the energy is still, the imagination is active. I will also be ahead of schedule on something. This feels like a time of magickal connection. A change in career is near. This is a high time for spiritual things and I am called to embrace it.
February- The River Queen
Emotions will be running very high this month. Love is the theme for this month, all love and I will be asked to love even if I don't want to. These feels more in regards to my mother. I need to stay focused on our vision and to allow the energy of love to flow through. Energy starts to build again towards the middle to the end of the month. I need to again harness this energy and direct it into what needs to be done. Water rules this month, and though emotions are high, so is the calmness and healing the river and lakes bring. Towards the end of the month, things become restless, awaiting the arrival of spring.
March- The Shadow Queen/ The prison waif
This month brings with it alot of tension. This is were all the stops are pulled between me and my mother and this is where the truth will be told. I will be tempted to throw everything away. Alot of people will be whispering in my ear, but I need to stick true to what is in my heart, everyone else will file suite when the time comes. Don't loose sight on why you are doing it, remember who it really is for. There will be some conflict about money and possibly a change in careers. Stick with your goals and do not waver. Stay on budget and you will be just fine.
April- keeper of the scales/ the lady of the gift
In the beginning of the month, energy will be buzzing and scattered. Make sure you are grounding yourself often. I was just told that Easter was during that time and sure enough, it is the following day. I just checked. I knew there was something wrong with that date. Maybe this is the reason I couldn't get past the 6th month. I would have been so busy. I don't want Easter the day after. That would take away from it for the kids and cooking two days in a row?? that would really suck. I don't know what I was thinking. I was thinking that I wanted my mother's birthday week to be her own so she wouldn't have to share it with anyone. ok, i need to rethink this whole thing. I think I have a plan. This may change my entire reading as this new info might change everything.Luckily it's a small wedding and I'm good with pressure. He's going to love this idea. I'll keep you posted.
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